It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
