you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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