don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
