Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Congratulations! We have a period
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