I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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