I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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