Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
