Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
