My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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