I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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