his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
