You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Randomize
