i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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