Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
