Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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