you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
