im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
