i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
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yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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