I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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