There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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