She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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