Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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