I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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