Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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