Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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