And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize