it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
