I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Never joke about your clitoris.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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