Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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