Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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