well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sext me about skeletons
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
