Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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