never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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