You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
