Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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