I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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