we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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