i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So vagazzling was a success
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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