I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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