My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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