i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
