So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
