also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
