Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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