i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
