Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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