i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
that's an acceptable place to lick
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
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You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
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I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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