What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
