he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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