when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
