I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
