no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
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I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
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I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize