You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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