My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You ruined the universe
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
